Is Your Girl Faking It?

She screams, she moans, she thrashes, she pulls your hair and announces “I’m coming!” so loud that the neighbors can keep score.

And yet, you still have your doubts. If you find yourself asking “Is my girlfriend faking it?” the answer, unfortunately, is probably yes. If you’re wondering this at all, you really need to ask yourself these two other corollary questions: “Are you giving her a reason to fake it?” and “Would you even know a real female orgasm if you saw one?” If your answers are “Yes” and “No,” or “I’m not sure,” keep reading.

Why Can’t They Be More Like Guys?

Confusion about female orgasm is understandable. By comparison, the mechanics of the male orgasm are easy to observe and comprehend:

Dick gets hard > Dick gets stroked/sucked/fucked > Dick shoots.

Nothing mysterious there. Why can’t girls be that simple? Well, they’re just not made that way. Their sexual organs and arousal process are mostly internal. So unless she’s a squirter (i.e. she has female ejaculations), a woman has no outstanding external indicator that she’s having an orgasm. However, there are signs you can look for that indicate that she’s getting ready to come, she’s coming, or she’s already peaked.

Arousal – If she’s really aroused, her pupils may be dilated, her skin may be flushed on her face, neck and breasts, and her breathing may be rapid and may become irregular. In general, her moaning and panting will not just get louder, but speed up as she approaches climax.

Orgasm – Part of the problem here is that women can have both minor “mini orgasms” or earth-shaking, toe curling orgasms, and technically they both count as O’s. In either case though, a woman’s PC (pubococcygeal), vaginal and uterine muscles contract. It may be just a flutter, or it may be dick-gripping contractions. Some women go rigid when they come, some writhe some go limp. Some scream and some go silent. Her heart rate will increase. She may have involuntary movements, such as shuddering.

Afterglow – She’ll have a dazed, dreamy look and be kind of glassy eyed. She’ll need to catch her breath and her breathing and heart rate will slowly return to normal. Her flushed skin will gradually return to normal.

And the Oscar for Best Fake Orgasm Goes To…

Here are a few telltale signs that she’s putting on a show:

Coming EVERY time – Few women come every single time they have intercourse. If you brag to your friends your girlfriend effortlessly comes 100% of the time, you may have a faker on your hands. Also, each and every real orgasm is different. If your girlfriend has the exact same reaction to every orgasm, it may just be play acting.

Coming Without Communication – Some women can come very easily from sex, regardless of what you do, but most need their specific needs and desires met to get off. A certain position, rhythm, or sex act is often a prerequisite to a real orgasm. If your girlfriend never even hints at what she needs to climax, but climaxes all the time just the same, she may be faking it.

Obvious overacting – This can be a tough call, since some women will moan and talk dirty to turn you on and to turn themselves on, but if she’s just moaning mechanically, her groaning is too regular, or too loud, and she sounds like she’s imitating a porn star, she’s probably faking and not even doing a very good job.

Out of synch – If her moaning and responses don’t correspond to what you are actually doing to her, something is wrong. Like if you stop, and she keeps moaning with the same rhythm and intensity, she may be faking.

No indication of arousal – If she’s not showing any physical signs of arousal, such as flushed skin, or increased heart rate and rapid breathing, she may be faking.

Coming too soon – Some women are just quick on the trigger, and there are exceptions, like if she is really turned on to begin with, but it usually takes women anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes to work up to an orgasm.

No recovery time – There are exceptions, but if she “comes” and then immediately bounces out of bed to brush her teeth, she probably faked. It should take her at least a couple of minutes or so to “come down” after orgasming.