Ask Campus Chick

I'm dating a guy who sucks at giving head. What tips should I give him?

Oh my God, this is my area of expertise! My whole life, guys have sucked at it. Tell them to do it like they're kissing you. Be comfortable enough to tell him what feels good and what doesn't. Even if you have to press it. Most guys don't know how to do it right, and you have to soothe their ego to make them good at it.

If you're in a bar and someone buys you a drink, do you owe them anything?

Like, five minutes of conversation?I pay for my own drinks. I feel more in control that way. I don't like it if some stranger buys me alcohol and expects me to, like, go down on him in the bathroom. It's not gonna happen.

I just realized that when my boyfriend and I have sex on the side of the bed closest to the wall, my neighbors can probably see us. It turns me on, but I think he would flip out. Is it wrong not to tell him?

No. [Hearty laughter] He might just stop if he catches on. If he doesn't know, it won't hurt him.

You've had bad sex with someone three times, but you're still attracted to him. Is there hope for the future?

Depends on the circumstances. I could forgive three times, but after that I would try to see what else wasn't working. I don't think some people are just naturally bad at sex. It's just another level of learning. It's a matter of figuring it out. So if you're not figuring it out, or they're just being lazy, you need to work together.

So bad sex is mostly due to laziness?

I think so. And I feel that a lot of guys — [lowers voice conspiratorially] especially at this school — just learn how to seduce a girl. They learn how to kiss, and they learn how to fondle you, but they don't learn how to have sex. They don't learn how to go down. They only aspire to get a girl, not, like, keep her around. I think most guys at this point in their life, think they'll always have their pick. Like we'll always be young girls they can just fool around with.

What's the best position for the quickest mutual orgasm?

I guess doggy style works for me. I wish there was a better name for it, but it's okay.

Is it weird to have sex in a graveyard? I wrote a short story about having sex in a graveyard! The girl is, like, dead, and I bring her back to life. Nice. Yeah, in theory it's kind of cool. But I'd feel kind of disrespectful really doing it.